Even before I went into business for myself, one goal always stayed clear to me. I intended to improve the lives of others. Where did this desire to elevate people come from? Part of it came as a result of great teachers who influenced me throughout my upbringing. However, much of it I actually owe to being an avid sports fan.

I’ve witnessed time and time again how phenomenal coaches impact their athletes. Champions in the sports arena are invariably a product not only of talent and determination, but perhaps more importantly, stellar coaching. Anyone watching the Olympics notices it immediately. Nearly every medalist we see on camera proudly stands beside their coach. This isn’t mere coincidence. Whether it’s a runner, swimmer, gymnast, or figure skater makes no difference—all these winners depend on key people to guide them to victory.

Why great leaders need coaches, too

Having a coach matters. When I started Northeast Private Client Group four decades ago, I learned that, in addition to coaching others, I also needed a coach for myself. This was my first time growing and scaling a business. I wanted someone guiding me, someone who had built a hundred times what I aspired to build. I sought the formula, the roadmap, the know-how to leverage my skill sets and passion. There’s a reason why organizational leaders have coaches. They’d otherwise squander their precious time and energy reinventing the wheel. It’s no surprise that the top CEOs often have several. As for myself, I aimed to deploy a whole cadre of advisers. I teamed up with a great banker, accountant, attorney, and an outstanding executive strategist.

I’ll never forget my first lesson: You don’t grow a business, you grow people. I’ve held this mantra near and dear ever since. Incidentally, I’ve met countless others who harbor this exact philosophy. They understand that whoever attempts to go it alone doesn't go nearly as far. For one thing, we’re limited by our time as individuals. But more importantly, nobody has access to all the good ideas themselves. As confident as I am in my abilities, I have to continually admit what I don’t know. Every knowledge gap within me leads me to invest in others. I’m essentially outsourcing the wellspring of ideas that support the success of my business.

Leadership development starts with self-awareness

Consequently, my team and I have helped thousands of dentists coast to coast over the years. As diverse an array of private practitioners I’ve encountered, nearly all of them come to me wanting to know how to fix their staff. I suppose it’s no different from marriage counseling. Each spouse wants an outside arbiter to side with them to then go and tell the other why they’re wrong. Of course, that’s not how life works. You can’t change others. You can only change yourself. So what if you’re not the one who needs to change? If that’s indeed the case, then you’re at a bit of an impasse. Unfortunately, twisting other people’s arms to do your bidding, even if your demands are warranted, rarely works. They’ll either argue and make excuses for themselves, agree with you only to misbehave behind your back, or quit and walk out the door.

Realizing you need your staff more than they need you serves as a good wake-up call. Rehiring is expensive. When you come to me wanting to improve the productivity of your employees, I can’t step in to be the office manager. Instead, I’ll show you how to become the best leader you can be. Bear in mind that leaders don’t lead with the force of their commands, but rather by the clarity of their own solid example. As you become a smarter business person, you’ll be amazed at how savvy and effective the people in your organization become.

Building practice culture through example, not control

Show up for your employees, and they’ll follow suit. Trust that most employees wish to please. They will when you provide them clear objectives. However, delegating has its limitations. You can outsource practically anything and everything, the one exception being culture. That piece of the puzzle must start with you, the owner. Having a great office manager certainly helps, but even the best administrators ultimately default to the attitude of their boss. Any wobble in your mood will show up in your manager, which then poisons the entire well.

To many dentists, learning how to become an effective leader can seem insurmountable. I get it. Our dental schools are masterful at churning out brilliant doctors, artists really, who perfect the craft of fixing every tooth ailment imaginable, all with laser precision. Unfortunately, these institutions lag when it comes to teaching basic management. I’ve heard some estimates that less than 5% of the standard curriculum focuses on actually building and maintaining a practice. No wonder most dentists are frustrated and confused when they finally reach out to me. They’ve shelled out hundreds of thousands of dollars for a business they don’t know how to run.

Coaching is a skill every dentist can learn

Fortunately, there’s no real reason to fret. Anyone with the introspection to call my office for help certainly has what it takes to learn effective management. Honing the right culture for your particular enterprise will take some practice. Expect to make mistakes. Trust that your staff will forgive you, provided you’re also understanding of their blunders. Consider that winning necessitates a certain degree of trial and error. And wouldn’t you agree that everyone you chose to hire inherently wants to be a winner? Anything to the contrary wouldn’t make sense.

Victory is fundamental to who we are. From a broader view, we see the essential role that coaching plays in everyone’s success. As leaders, we need proper coaching just as much as we ourselves need to be adept coaches. Not a single person comes to the table knowing all the answers. On the contrary, we all come seeking guidance. Such wisdom enables us to win, regardless of the task at hand. Moreover, the wealth of information must be shared. It’s what I’ve always aimed to do. I learn, I practice, and then I pass it along. I invite you to do the same.