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March 14, 2009

By Karen Hand

What's the source of your stress? The economy? Unemployment? Business is slow? Insurance collection is a hassle? Family? Friends? All of the above?

Now STOP! Take a breath. No really ? take a breath! Take a good long breath!

Do it this way: Breathe in slowly through your nose to the count of four ... 1 ... 2 ... 3 ... 4. Then breathe out slowly through your mouth to the count of eight ... 1 ... 2 ... 3 ... 4 ... 5 ... 6 ... 7 ... 8.

Do it again and notice how that brief interlude in your spiraling thinking can take a break. It has to — you're concentrating on counting and breathing. You switched your focus away from the inner dialogue for just a moment. And if you'll do it periodically throughout your day for a minute or two, your stress level will decrease each time. In fact, it may feel so good that you'll want to do it for a full one to five minutes.

Proper breathing is the magic bullet against stress. When stress runs rampant in our bodies and our brains, breathing tends to get shallow and quick. You can change that by simply focusing on your breathing and slowing it down — count it out. Proper breathing will lead to greater benefits throughout your day.

Stress is an emotion that signals you feel overwhelmed by too much to do and you think it is impossible to do it all well. Think of a tea kettle. When the water boils, the steam is let out the top and you hear the whistle. Stress acts the same way. It builds and builds until it boils over in unwanted, uncomfortable, or unhealthy symptoms.

Unfortunately, there's no convenient whistle to alert you to take yourself off the fire. Sometimes it takes the symptoms to alert you to take action. Stress manifests in a variety of ways including: irritability, headaches, insomnia, fatigue, anger, inability to concentrate, lack of focus, crying spells, lethargy/apathy, diminished sex drive, indigestion, diarrhea, constipation, and more.

There are steps you can take prophylactically to reduce your stress. Some will seem obvious, but ask yourself how often you actually take the physical steps to reduce stress.

Stress Reduction Action Plan:

• Get enough sleep
• Exercise regularly
• Eat a proper diet and avoid caffeine
• Take a hot bath or shower
• Find a project you can do from start to finish
• Close your eyes for a few minutes a day and call up an image of a beautiful, relaxing scene from a previous vacation or outing
• Don't rely on TV as a tranquilizer
• Take time for yourself every day for non-goal-oriented activities

Attitude Changes:

• Change your expectations
• Stop expecting to be perfect either at home or on the job
• Expand your support system
• Find a mentor/coach
• Be objective
• Have a healthy attitude toward your job

You can start today establishing a habit of effectively creating an inner dialogue that produces positive thoughts and a peaceful mind instead of stress. Each night when you put your head on the pillow, give yourself the following suggestion 10 times:

Every day, in some way, I get better and better.

To keep track, every time you say the suggestion, press down with a finger of your hand. Say it 10 times. As you give yourself the suggestion, allow yourself to imagine — either by visualizing or feeling or knowing or even just pretending — getting better in some way. Fully imagine it before you go on to say the suggestion the next time.

If this is your first attempt at learning to effectively program yourself through self- suggestion, then also take note of how soundly you sleep and how you react to your positive suggestion the next day. It is important to do this every night without falling asleep until you've completed the 10 repetitions.

This is like the breathing exercise at the beginning of this article. When you shift your attention to how you will be getting better and better each day, it gives you time and space to quiet the inner negative dialogue. And success breeds success. As you learn to fall asleep thinking of your goals instead of what you failed to do during the day, you will notice yourself just naturally moving in the direction of your goals. You will also notice that positive self-talk will have a wonderful side effect of lowering your stress level.

Now, as long as you're using your imagination and have a desire to relieve your stress, let's take one final look at proper breathing. That means inhaling into your diaphragm. When breathing is slow and controlled, hyper-alertness is immediately reduced.

Proper Breathing Technique:

• Sit or lie down and close your eyes
• Place right hand on stomach and left hand on chest
• Imagine a blue balloon in your stomach
• Breathe slowly 10 times in the following manner
* Breathe in through your nostrils and imagine the blue balloon filling up in your stomach
* Exhale and allow all the air to flow out of your body
* Repeat to yourself silently "Relax, relax, relax" (repeat 10 times counting backwards from 10 to 1)
* The exercise will take about three minutes

It used to be that people took cigarette breaks to calm down. One thing they were doing was breathing in deeply while giving their mind time to clear. It's far cheaper and healthier to do this deep breathing (without the cigarette, of course) and instead of taking a cigarette break, you can take a three-minute mental health break and you can do it without ever leaving your desk if you choose.

When it comes to stress, it's also helpful to do a reality check when you notice you're stressed out. Remember, it's just an emotion designed to signal important information to you. If you really are overwhelmed by too much to do, your options are:

• Get organized
• Prioritize
• Ask for help
• Delegate some responsibilities (to staff, coworkers, or even family at home)
• Learn to say "no" sometimes
• Let someone else do some of the work
• Realize it doesn't have to be done perfectly
• It doesn't necessarily have to be done your way

Stress is indeed an important signal from your body, just like a warning light on the dashboard of the car. But you don't have to drive off the road just because the oil light comes on. You can take a deep breath, pull into Jiffy Lube®, and breathe into your blue balloon while the mechanic changes your oil.

Just like the whistle on the tea kettle, stress is an important signal from your body. But your emotions and health don't have to boil over. You can release the steam by breathing. Take a minute to do it now, and notice how much better you feel.

Karen Hand is a certified hypnosis instructor through the National Guild of Hypnotists and co-owner of Positive Changes Hypnosis Center in Chicago. Karen specializes in stress management and behavior change through finding the initial sensitizing cause and working through forgiveness of others and self. She has helped thousands of clients ease their stress, eliminate fears, lose weight, stop smoking, and manage pain. Before studying to become a hypnotist, Karen had a successful radio career in Chicago as a talk show host, morning show radio "sidechick," and news announcer. She headlined a top-rated relationship talk show with her psychiatrist partner for a dozen years at Chicago's B96 and WCKG. Karen also taught communications and news broadcasting at Chicago's Columbia College through the 1980s and 1990s. You may contact her by e-mail at karen.hand@positivechanges.com.

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