By Karen Cortell Reisman, MS

An article written about the May 12 Sichuan earthquake disaster in the Shanghai Daily discussed the outrage and grief of the families affected by this calamity. This article suggests an excellent way to communicate terrible information.

Wang Yong writes, "In times of great danger and distress, staying calm is important, and the best way to calm an emotional public is to tell it what you know and don't know. If the media or the government doesn't disclose these facts to the public in a timely manner, misunderstanding will grow, feeding unjustified anger and fear."

What does this comment have to do with you?

Fortunately you don't have earthquakes or other natural disasters in your dental practices. Yet, from time to time you do face emotional patients and team members. You do encounter difficult situations, whether it is presenting a scary diagnosis, working with a challenging patient, or handling an awkward moment at the front desk.

Using Yong's thoughtful advice, here's how you can communicate the hard stuff in your practice.

1. Stay calm. The minute you lose your temper, you have lost. In times of great stress, take a deep breath. That old adage of counting to 10 — there's a reason this saying is still around! Metaphorically step back and silently count to 10. Keep your voice steady.

2. Tell what you know. Even if this is difficult, you must state the facts up front. Your listener will respect you for this, even if not immediately.

3. Tell what you don't know. You don't know everything. Be honest with your patient. You don't know how long the veneers will really last. You have a good idea; you have data and averages. Tell your patient what you know and what you don't know.

4. Be timely. This concept is as much a blessing for you as it is for the listener. If you need to deliver difficult information — say, some negative feedback for someone on your team or ultimately, you need to transition someone off your team — letting this drag out is tension-filled for you and everyone else. Pick an appropriate time, preferably sooner than later, and communicate the hard stuff by following Steps 1 through 3 above.

Writing this article reminds me of a few very difficult moments during the final days of my beloved mother's life. My sister and I spent every waking hour in the hospital waiting room of the intensive care unit as our mother valiantly tried to fight back from her inevitable fatal heart attack. This was a time fraught with potential misunderstandings (when was this or that tube being inserted, when was this or that procedure going to happen or not happen ...), potential anger (why was this happening to her, to us ...), and potential fear (how can I cope with this negative outcome ...).

I vividly recall the phenomenal medical team. They stayed calm. They told us what they knew — the positives and the negatives. They told us what they didn't know — that science does not have all of the answers. They were timely with the information; and we became smarter at knowing when we wanted to hear the data. I discovered that there were times, especially late in the evening, when I did NOT want all of the answers. It keeps you from sleeping.

When you have to communicate the hard stuff — in your office or at home — heed the advice gleaned from the Shanghai Daily. Stay calm. Share what you know. State what you don't know. Be timely.

© Karen Cortell Reisman, MS

Karen Cortell Reisman, MS, author of two books, speaks about Einstein, her cousin, in a one-woman show, "Letters From Einstein," intertwining personal letters from Einstein in a message about hope, resilience, and lingerie. She also speaks about how to Speak For Yourself® so others listen and trust you. To buy Karen's books or purchase other learning tools, go to www.LettersFromEinstein.com or www.SpeakForYourself.com.