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July 12, 2008

By Stephanie Houseman, DMD

Question: I can't seem to keep my head above water. I'm drowning under the poor choices I've made in my life. How can I turn things around?

Answer: I have it on good authority that Dr. Seuss was planning on writing another book titled "Oh, the Choices You Make!" It would have started like this:

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
Any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy (gal) who'll decide where to go.
Oh, the places you'll go!

Yes, the choices you make will determine the places you'll go!
Yes, the choices you make will determine the life you'll have!

"Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself." (Robert F. Bennett)

How well are you in control of your choices?

Some people allow life to happen to them; there is no forethought in their journey. They just go along for the ride and wherever life takes them, that's how and where they live. These visionless people make excuses and blame others and circumstances as the reason their lives are not working well. It's the dentist who goes to work every day with no plan, no systems, no checkpoints, a laissez-faire attitude, and chooses not to be a leader in her dental practice. She is slow to point the finger at herself.

On the other hand, there are those who are at the wheel and directing their lives. They are making choices that will lead them to their desired location. They have a vision and are clear on what they want in their lives and practices. Remember the adage: If you fail to plan, then plan to fail. These doctors are whizzes at planning. They set goals and put one foot in front of the other to reach those goals. In addition, if they happen to get off course, they are quick to regroup. They choose with a purpose and a vision in sight. Do you?

It's not rocket science to know that there are 24 hours in a day, no more, no less. You can't save time in a bottle and pour it out to use another day, nor can you turn those 24 hours into 30. The good news is that you are the one person who has control over your time, and you gain this control by your choices.

You choose whether to spend your time on "A" activities — those which further you along your path to living the life you want, or on "Z" activities — those which serve no purpose other than to waste the day away. There's a wide range of activities in-between; where do you see yourself during the day? Which activities will you be saying "yes" to, and which will get a firm "no"? It's your choice.

My favorite money quote speaks to the relationship between emotion and choice: "Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like." (Will Rogers) Most every choice you make about money is emotional. For instance, you shop when you're bored, when you feel unloved, when you feel loved, when something bad has happened and you want to feel better, and when you want to show the world that you've arrived.

You've worked hard for your money and choices abound for what you do with it. Spend it, save it, give it away, hoard it, foolishly fritter it away, borrow against it; the choice is yours. Debt-free or in debt — which will it be?

How much do you need, both in your personal life and professional life? What is your comfort zone, and how close are you to being in the zone? You choose what to do with your money.

You also choose your thoughts — both thoughts that empower you and thoughts that limit you. "You will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you," said James Allen. He's right. Dwell in negativity, what might have been, and/or past mistakes and you will attract more negativity. Choose to think positive thoughts, act on those thoughts, and you will attract what you want. You will lead a life of fulfillment, and your tomorrows will be bright.

Rid yourself of the self-defeating thoughts that tell you you're not good enough and replace them with beliefs of self-confidence. Choose to believe that you can succeed and then act as if you already are succeeding.

"Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend," sang James Taylor. But, what kind of friends are they? "People can be so cold. They'll hurt you and desert you. Well, they'll take your soul if you let them. Oh, yeah, but don't you let them," he continued. He's right.

Choose your friends wisely. If you are around people who constantly hurt you, chances are you will become defeated. If you associate with people who spend every dime they earn, chances are you will have no savings either. On the other hand, if you spend your time with movers and shakers, chances are you will become one also. Choose to associate with these movers and you will go places!

Choose to love your body. Treat it with respect. Nourish it well, exercise it, rest it, and care for it so that it will take you to the places you want to go. "Take good care of your body. It's the only place you have to live," said Jim Rohn. Likewise, choose to nourish your mind and spirit. Additionally, share your unique talents with others. You'll be blessed as you journey through life.

"Every choice you make has an end result," said Zig Ziglar. What are the end results of the choices you are making? Are your choices leading you to the life you want or taking you down a path of disenchantment? Because the choices you make will determine the places you'll go, and the choices you make will determine the life you'll live. Right on, Dr. Seuss!

P.S. Several of the scenarios discussed above have appeared in greater detail in past "The Mentor's Mind" columns. Check out the archives on Woman Dentist eJournal for more.

P.P.S. Do you have a question you would like answered? Send it to me at drszh@7steps2abalancedlife.comm.

© 2008 Stephanie Houseman, DMD

Stephanie Houseman, DMD, practiced dentistry in St. Louis for 25 years. She is married to a dentist, has two grown children, and understands all too well the demands we place on ourselves./ She now works with dentists who want to simplify their lives so that they can enjoy /themselves again. She is a graduate of the Coaches Training Institute, creator of the 7 Steps 2 A Balanced Life Program™, and author of "The Balance Beam," a weekly e-newsletter about balance and life./ Reach Dr. Houseman at www.7steps2abalancedlife.com or (618) 639-5433.

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